


Straight Dope

by betawho



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Family, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2018-01-07 19:49:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betawho/pseuds/betawho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How would the Doctor react if River straightened her hair?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Straight Dope

The woman walked right into the Tardis without a knock or a “by your leave.”

The Doctor turned from the console a bit surprised, he was traveling alone currently, no Companions to come traipsing in. And while he was parked in London, he wasn’t accustomed to the Tardis opening for just anybody.

She was turned away from him, carefully shutting the door, she wore a black velvet jacket, black satin slacks and red high heels, as she turned toward him he saw she was wearing a virulently pink satin top, with a lacy insert hinting at an impressive decolletage.

She had long, straight, dark blond hair.

As he saw her face his heart stopped, jerking as if he’d been shot.

He raced down the console dais and skidded to a stop right in front of her, gaping.

“River!”

Her wild halo of fabulous curls had been straightened into a long, sleek, _normal_ , fall of hair.

He made a hurt noise. His hands came up and he fluffed her hair with the backs of his fingers, as if he could coax it to curl again. He looked as horrified as if she’d shot his puppy.

“Hello, Sweetie.”

it was her smile, her insinuating tone, her husky voice. But... It was gone. All those wonderful, wild, fluffy curls. All those bouncy little corkscrews. All the little flyaway bits that would kiss and tickle his cheeks. All _gone_.

“What happened?!” He looked like he was about to cry, his hands still reaching spastically out to her hair as if he could save it somehow.

She glared at him. “Oh don’t be such a big baby. Amy and I just had a girl’s night and we wondered what I’d look like if my hair was straight like hers.”

He was hyperventilating now. “But you didn’t have to _kill_ it!”

She gave him a wifely look, her arms crossed over her chest.

He didn’t notice. He picked up a lock of her long silky, _straight_ , hair, and stared down at it mournfully. He petted it, his eyes all big and sad. Grieving.

“Oh, please, it’s just hair,” River said, reminding him she was there.

He jumped a bit. He stepped back, dropping the hair, which draped down over her breast. He looked at her properly and could see how she did resemble Amy a bit more with her hair that way, it even had a tinge of red. Although she looked more like Rory, with that nose. Not that he’d say so.

The outfit was nice. He liked the pink. It was enough to sear his eyeballs.

Then he looked up again and saw that straight, smooth, _normal_ hair, and wanted to weep.

“I like it.” River said. Pointedly.

He nodded. He stepped back. He nodded again. Still looking like a whipped puppy. “It’s your hair. Naturally, you have the right to do whatever you want with it. It’s none of my business.”

He kept giving her those big sad eyes. Still looking at her hair. Her abomination of hair.

She sighed, and rolled her eyes. “It’s okay, Sweetie. I was just trying it on for size.” She patted his cheek and gave him a kiss. “I'm going to use the Tardis sickbay to put it back to normal.”

He looked at her hopefully, then started following her right on her heels, (literally, he kept stepping on them) as she strode toward the staircase to the sickbay.

“I just wanted to see what your reaction would be, first.” She looked over her shoulder at him with those devilish eyes, twinkling. “You did very well. Rory’s reaction was much louder. I recorded it.

“You should have seen Amy's hair.”

—

* * *

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